SERVANT-LEADER CHALLENGE

1. A servant-leader includes his wife in envisioning the future. He initiates periodic

getaways with his wife, to dream together about where their marriage is headed. These

“big picture” moments shape their direction and decision-making. “Are we biting off too

much?” “Are we both excited about where we’re headed?” “What do we need to change?”

2. A servant-leader accepts spiritual responsibility for his family. For example, he

accepts responsibility for how regularly they attend church, for praying at meals and at

33 other times, for initiating discussion of spiritual issues among the family, and for making

sure that all decisions harmonize with biblical principles.

3. A servant-leader is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “forgive me” to his family. He is

able to admit when he’s wrong.

4. A servant-leader discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure

these are fairly distributed. He also periodically re-addresses this division of labor as the

family changes.

5. A servant-leader seeks the consultation of his wife on all major financial decisions.

He values her input and her agreement in these ventures.

6. A servant-leader follows through with commitments he has made to his wife. He

honors her by this demonstration of integrity.

7. A servant-leader anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through. He

reads about these upcoming stages and discusses them with others so he’ll be ready to meet the unique pressures and challenges each one brings.

8. A servant-leader, anticipates the stages his children will pass through. He works with his wife to make the necessary changes that will keep their parenting relevant and affective in their children’s emerging lives.

9. A servant-leader frequently tells his wife what he likes about her. He is specific about what makes her so special to him.

10. A servant-leader provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses. He seeks to keep their lifestyle within his means in order to give flexibility to his wife.

11. A servant-leader deals with distractions so that he can talk with his wife and family. He turns off the television or puts down the newspaper. He wants to understand what is going on in their lives and in their feelings, and he doesn’t want needless distractions to interrupt their conversations. They are important people!

12. A servant-leader prays with his wife on a regular basis. Besides being pleasing to God, this form of communication inspires a special intimacy between them.

13. A servant-leader initiates meaningful family traditions, such as these:

• Praying together as a family before special events and trips.

• Celebrating when his children pass the milestones of life—graduations, adulthood, leaving home, marriage, birth of grandchildren, etc.

• Honoring his wife before his children on their wedding anniversary.

• Reading books to his children.

• Praising his children’s special attributes on birthdays before friends and family.

14. A servant-leader initiates fun outings for the family on a monthly basis, or even more often. He keeps laughter in the home!

15. A servant-leader takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life, which in turn gives them confidence with their peers. He makes sure they can ride a bike, dribble a basketball, swim, read, and interact meaningfully with the opposite sex, to name just a few. He helps them to feel adequate in life.

16. A servant-leader goes over the upcoming week with his wife to clarify their schedule and anticipate any pressure points. He listens to her input and concerns.

17. A servant-leader keeps the family out of debt. He also makes sure they are saving for the future and giving to the church.

18. A servant -leader makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will and arranged a

well-conceived plan for their children in case of death. (SEE OUR HIT BY A BUS PLAN)

19. A servant-leader lets his children in to the interior of his life. He wants them to know him as a person, not just a father. He shares his personal thought, dreams, feelings, and memories with them.

20. A servant-leader praises his wife often in public. He tells others what it is that makes

her so special.

21. A servant-leader explains sex to each child in a way that gives him or her a wholesome perspective. He uses books and resources to prepare himself for these special occasions.

22. A servant-leader encourages his wife to grow as an individual. He helps her develop

her gifts, abilities, and interests. He dreams and interacts with her about how she can use those abilities in special ways, both now and in the future.

23. A servant-leader takes the lead in establishing with his wife clear and well-reasoned

convictions on issues such as alcohol, debt, child discipline, allowable movies and television programming, and so on. (These and other choices are too often left undefined in today’s homes, with serious consequences.)

24. A servant-leader joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improving their skills as husbands and fathers. He incites their accountability in this regard.

25. A servant-leader provides time for his wife to pursue personal interests, hobbies, exercise, development of specific talents, and so on.